tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773599297895528113.post3618763153044241098..comments2023-08-19T04:56:24.878-07:00Comments on It seemed like a good idea at the time...: Odds and endsFunderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06358687366401205336noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773599297895528113.post-47082741906164508312009-10-07T12:32:48.584-07:002009-10-07T12:32:48.584-07:00Vectormom - poor old fellow! I don't think I ...Vectormom - poor old fellow! I don't think I have time to enter the contest, but I'll follow along to see who does.<br /><br />Ambivalent - Wow. You elaborated perfectly on what I was trying to say! I think you're right and the issue is who has the balance of power in the relationship. Good call.Funderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06358687366401205336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773599297895528113.post-3710181555654848962009-10-07T11:52:27.636-07:002009-10-07T11:52:27.636-07:00HI - I'm delurking - I've been reading you...HI - I'm delurking - I've been reading your blog for a while and I must say congrats on those hoof changes - nice job!<br /><br />But what really got me thinking was this:<br /><br /><i>"But my problem with this type of thinking is if (when?) it carries over to our dealings with other humans. Hopefully, we are all surrounded by the kinds of people who can own up to their own mistakes, but that's not always the case. I worry that if you're in the mindset of thinking "Hmmm that went poorly, I wonder what I did wrong and what I can do better" you run the risk of becoming a victim. It's the same exact thought pattern that women in bad relationships often have."</i><br /><br />As a (currently horseless) equestrian and someone who has let this spill over into my human interactions (with bad results for me!), I've decided for myself that the key to sorting this out is to ALWAYS remember the balance of power in the relationship.<br /><br />When the relationship is between you and the horse, there is a physical power imbalance that you must keep in mind (which is why I'm not opposed to scaring the shit out of a horse - assuming it know better - that is behaving dangerously out of lack of respect). <br /><br />But perhaps more relevant to this relationship is that you are the brains of the relationship. You are also the one that controls the horse's resources. As such, you (or me) as a human always has the OPPORTUNITY to abuse this position of power. We can, if we choose, ignore the horse's needs, confusion over our requests, fear, or whatever else may be driving their less-than-ideal behavior and decide that these factors don't matter that the horse should just intuit what I asked and do it perfectly, even if I was doing something that made it hard. Alternatively, you or I can choose *not* to abuse the horse by training it first rather than insisting that it do something it doesn't know how, we can look for other reasons besides general snottiness for misbehavior like physical pain or poor nutrition, etc. In the end, we as the humans have the responsibility to make choices because our horses are powerless to communicate with us effectively about why they are doing this thing that we don't like.<br /><br />With respect to relationships between humans, especially those that you mention - women in abusive relationships - the abuser has the upper hand in the power imbalance, and is choosing not to wield this power responsibly. It's important to recognize that as a person in that sort of relationship, we are not personally responsible for every bad action that the other person commits. They have some power and autonomy and the ability to recognize us as human beings with our own autonomy, but they choose to diminish that autonomy via abuse.<br /><br />It comes down to who is in charge. People are in charge of horses, parents are in charge of kids, adult men and women ought to be equals in a relationship. If that's not the case, it is because someone is using their power to intimidate the "weaker" party in the relationship. If the person in power is not making responsible choices about how they wield that power, then it is abuse. I think that this applies to both interpersonal and horse-human relationships.Ambivalent Academichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05908454781195782927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773599297895528113.post-50795357308555701802009-10-05T11:56:38.669-07:002009-10-05T11:56:38.669-07:00That is great progress on those hooves!
I have an...That is great progress on those hooves! <br />I have an archaic paint gelding who has a very alpha personality. His manners with humans are fantastic until one day I went to feed. All the horses were lined up in their stalls and he was facing backwards sleeping. I went to go in his stall and feed him so I touched his butt so he'd know I was there ...... WHAM!!! Sucker punched in the gut from his hind leg kick. THIS was NOT my Riffy!! I kept trying to figure out why he did that? Was he sleeping THAT soundly? He had a rather surprised look on his face afterwards, just like me. So I warned everyone to be wary of his hind end. A few weeks later, I started figuring it out. My old geriatric buddy was losing his hearing. That was a bit back and now he hears very little Which didn't hurt when the neighbors decided to hire a logging company to buy their trees. <br />Great post! I'm having a contest on my blog. Should prove to be quite funny! Check it out...<br /><br />tailwindssouth.blogspot.comVectormomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04877291527910704957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773599297895528113.post-74913428910050560052009-10-05T10:27:54.695-07:002009-10-05T10:27:54.695-07:00Those hoof pictures make me so happy. They're...Those hoof pictures make me so happy. They're even more dramatic than Gene's. It's a long road, but so worth it. :3Sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03665794050418919719noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773599297895528113.post-11789550233093707362009-10-05T08:59:23.021-07:002009-10-05T08:59:23.021-07:00See, I totally agree with you. It is rider error ...See, I totally agree with you. It is rider error almost all of the time, and admitting that does make you a better rider. Makes you think about what you should have done differently, makes you more aware of what could have triggered the horse's negative behavior.<br /><br />But my problem with this type of thinking is if (when?) it carries over to our dealings with other humans. Hopefully, we are all surrounded by the kinds of people who can own up to their own mistakes, but that's not always the case. I worry that if you're in the mindset of thinking "Hmmm that went poorly, I wonder what I did wrong and what I can do better" you run the risk of becoming a victim. It's the same exact thought pattern that women in bad relationships often have.Funderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06358687366401205336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773599297895528113.post-8195374237022507422009-10-05T08:05:05.537-07:002009-10-05T08:05:05.537-07:00And I meant to say - nice progress with the foot!And I meant to say - nice progress with the foot!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773599297895528113.post-84840205754714406992009-10-05T08:04:22.660-07:002009-10-05T08:04:22.660-07:00I think that 95%, or maybe even 99%, of the time, ...I think that 95%, or maybe even 99%, of the time, rider/handler error is the cause of problems - although the horse may have chosen to do something, it's usually a lack of training and leadership that leads to the problem. But just saying that the rider/handler was responsible doesn't solve anything - the trick is to move on from there and address the training gap by stepping up and providing the leadership and direction the horse needs - this is were I think many people fall down on the job (myself included) - this is how undesirable behaviors in the horse get perpetuated.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com