I know some of you trotting-horse people are curious about gaited horses. Go read this - especially look at that chart.
The chart might not make sense to you at first, unless you know roughly what those gaits are. A trot is diagonal, right? A pace is lateral - so it's shown opposite a trot. A normal walk is at the very center; it's the most "square" of the gaits - neither pacey nor trotty. Therefore, a running walk (my goal with Dixie!) is also square - smack dab between trot and pace.
A fox trot is, apparently, a huge dressage fault. It's also very comfortable, and proof that DQ's don't actually know everything. ;) In a fox trot, the horse picks up a diagonal pair of feet at the same time, but sets them down separately, hind foot first. So LH and RF pick up, but LH sets down slightly before RF. It's smoother than a hard trot, and not a bad trail gait.
A rack is more similar to a pace than a trot - there's two points in each cycle of a rack where both lateral feet are on the ground at the same time. But there's also two points in each cycle where each diagonal pair is on the ground. This is a pretty good explanation of a rack.
Here's the other gait continuum - you all know that a trot can be collected til the horse is "round." A trot can be all strung out and hollow, but it can also be rounded. A pace (apparently) is always hollow. No matter what. If the horse collects, its footfalls change toward a rack. Collect it more, and the rack becomes a RW, which is done with a neutral spine. Keep collecting, and the RW breaks down into a foxtrot, then a trot.
Pretty neat, huh?
Anyway. This is part of why I'm kind of confused - and kind of impressed! - that Dixie managed to both hard pace and hard trot under saddle in the same week. She could've been doing a hollow trot, that day the BO rode her, but it's still pretty neat that she can trot. She's pretty flexible, both conformationally and mentally.
I'm not sure I agree with the point of the article I linked, though. A Missouri Foxtrotter is, by definition, a gaited horse. When it changes from a walk to a foxtrot, there has to be a clear transition from walk to foxtrot. There's not really an in-between; at some point the horse must break from a 1-2-3-4 walk to a 1-2--3-4 foxtrot. The only breeds that wouldn't noticeably shift gears are those that do a walk, flat walk, and running walk. They just speed up. And I really think smooth "shifting" between types of gaits (like walk to rack, or walk to foxtrot) is mainly a sign of training and muscular development.
I just wanted to show yall that chart. Hope it helps, somewhat!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Finally... presenting Crazy Dixie!
Ta-da!
Crazy mare! from Funder on Vimeo.
Isn't she wonderful :D
Also, um, if anybody reading this can't get her damn horse to stand still for mounting, seriously, clicker train. Traditional pressure-release is absolutely wonderful for some stuff, but I find it really fails me when I'm trying to get, ummm, a negative behavior. Like standing still is the lack of movement. Or holding a hoof up is the lack of yanking, pawing, leaning, etc. For me personally, getting the horse to ~not~ do what it wants and stand still for something is best accomplished by c/t.
Today was my third attempt at mounting via clicker. Dixie tried to walk over to the block before I'd even gotten her bridle on - I had to inform her that I am no Stacey Westfall and she's not actually ready to be ridden bridleless. As soon as the bridle was on, she headed straight over to the block. Me looming over her near side still makes her nervous, so I just got on and off of her off side a couple times then I rode.
I still feel really awkward in the saddle. Something isn't quite right yet - I'm tense somewhere, or I'm leaning, or something. I've been thinking about it all afternoon and I still can't figure out what I'm doing wrong. I felt more relaxed, though, and that's a good thing.
I've been reading and thinking a lot about the bit, the bridle, the reins, etc. I got Horse Gaits, Balance and Movement from the library, and it's given me some stuff to think about. It's quite good and apparently it's a classic - I just got it cause it was the only "adult" horse book at my branch, but I really lucked out.
Anyway, she's been PULLING as hard as she can. I tried (last week, some time) just locking my hands and not letting her pull the reins out. That didn't work out - it made her irritable, it made my hands hurt, and it only seemed to make the problem worse. I've been reconsidering - she "should" want contact, right? But she gets mad and yanks the reins. Perhaps my hands are too hard and I'm trying too much too fast.
Today I didn't even try for on-the-bit contact. I let the reins have just a bit of slack, just to where I could squeeze my fingers and she'd feel that hand moving. Whenever she'd try to pull, I'd let her, then as she picked her head back up I'd just quietly pick the reins back up to that same amount of almost-contact. It went much much better; she only pulled a couple of times, and only when I was squeezing too hard.
The next thing I'm wondering - is the horse supposed to curl around your inside leg or move away from it? When I squeeze the reins just enough to get her to turn her head a bit, then give her a little inside leg, she turns inside. Really sharply! I can do, say, 5 meter circles but nothing larger, not without losing the bend.
Outside leg behind the girth works fine, by the way. She calmly moves her hindquarters away from behind-the-girth pressure.
Crazy mare! from Funder on Vimeo.
Isn't she wonderful :D
Also, um, if anybody reading this can't get her damn horse to stand still for mounting, seriously, clicker train. Traditional pressure-release is absolutely wonderful for some stuff, but I find it really fails me when I'm trying to get, ummm, a negative behavior. Like standing still is the lack of movement. Or holding a hoof up is the lack of yanking, pawing, leaning, etc. For me personally, getting the horse to ~not~ do what it wants and stand still for something is best accomplished by c/t.
Today was my third attempt at mounting via clicker. Dixie tried to walk over to the block before I'd even gotten her bridle on - I had to inform her that I am no Stacey Westfall and she's not actually ready to be ridden bridleless. As soon as the bridle was on, she headed straight over to the block. Me looming over her near side still makes her nervous, so I just got on and off of her off side a couple times then I rode.
I still feel really awkward in the saddle. Something isn't quite right yet - I'm tense somewhere, or I'm leaning, or something. I've been thinking about it all afternoon and I still can't figure out what I'm doing wrong. I felt more relaxed, though, and that's a good thing.
I've been reading and thinking a lot about the bit, the bridle, the reins, etc. I got Horse Gaits, Balance and Movement from the library, and it's given me some stuff to think about. It's quite good and apparently it's a classic - I just got it cause it was the only "adult" horse book at my branch, but I really lucked out.
Anyway, she's been PULLING as hard as she can. I tried (last week, some time) just locking my hands and not letting her pull the reins out. That didn't work out - it made her irritable, it made my hands hurt, and it only seemed to make the problem worse. I've been reconsidering - she "should" want contact, right? But she gets mad and yanks the reins. Perhaps my hands are too hard and I'm trying too much too fast.
Today I didn't even try for on-the-bit contact. I let the reins have just a bit of slack, just to where I could squeeze my fingers and she'd feel that hand moving. Whenever she'd try to pull, I'd let her, then as she picked her head back up I'd just quietly pick the reins back up to that same amount of almost-contact. It went much much better; she only pulled a couple of times, and only when I was squeezing too hard.
The next thing I'm wondering - is the horse supposed to curl around your inside leg or move away from it? When I squeeze the reins just enough to get her to turn her head a bit, then give her a little inside leg, she turns inside. Really sharply! I can do, say, 5 meter circles but nothing larger, not without losing the bend.
Outside leg behind the girth works fine, by the way. She calmly moves her hindquarters away from behind-the-girth pressure.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
On Fear
Ok, I will admit it. I got The Fear when Dixie bolted around with me Wednesday. Kids and young adults, who bounce better than us old farts, probably don't "get" this, but those of you who are 30+ know what I'm talking about. That visceral terror that makes your muscles lock up. The kind of stupid adrenaline-fear that brings tears to your eyes, even if you're not actually scared enough to cry.
I am so mad about it, too. I remember like 4 or 5 months ago when I had last beaten The Fear - I was really hoping it was gone for good, that I'd just be normally cautious about my velocity and trajectory re: the ground. Maybe you never beat it. Maybe it's always lurking and you've just got to perpetually fight it. That's ok, too, I suppose.
My old coping mechanism was to just ride Champ. Scared of Silky? Poppy? Dixie? Any random horse? Ride Champ. Scared of school, life, relationships? Ride Champ. I felt as safe on him as I ever feel, and just rolling down the trail on him got my body comfortable with the motions of a horse again. He was awesome in a way that no other horse I've met is awesome. I hope he wasn't a once-in-a-lifetime horse, but maybe he was. Sigh.
So there's no Champ, just Dixie, who really is a sweet girl most of the time. I have to deal with The Fear all on my own. At least I know I can do it, which is a strength many people don't have - I know so many people who "rode a horse one time but I fell off and I'm never getting back on one." I am actually a passable rider now. I intellectually know the right things to do, and my body even does them most of the time.
Anyway. Friday I stayed home. I don't ride seven days a week; Friday was my day off. Saturday I went out knowing I needed to get back on Dixie. I even took videos for yall!
First I wanted to free lunge her again so she'd do the lovely floaty trot thing. Of course she didn't cooperate, but this is still cute. Just trust me that earlier this week she was even more extended and more snorty and cantered a lot too. (Also no laughing at my axe-cent!)
Free trotting in the arena from Funder on Vimeo.
So I tacked her up, filled up my pockets with treats, and started free-shaping nice mounting behavior. I cunningly decided to use her natural horsey one-sidedness to my advantage. She gets nervous about people on her near side mounting, so I started over on her off side. I stood by her off side stirrup, patiently following her around as she backed up and sidestepped, til she stopped, then c/t. After she figured out that's what I wanted, I went and stood on a mounting block. She very quickly figured out that I was only going to give treats when she stood lined up to the block. I cannot believe how easy it was, I really can't.
I got on and froze. So I treated her, got off, calmed down, and did it again. And again, and again, til I didn't feel so spooked about it. She was really absolutely stellar.
Then I untacked her and let her roam around the arena again. I was sitting on the mounting block, holding the camera, when she decided to flop down and roll about 5' away!
Dixie rolling in the arena from Funder on Vimeo.
Doesn't she look happy? And GROSS - man, that arena sand stinks!
Andrea, don't ever get a grey or a paint. You'd have a heart attack.
Today I went back, mounted/dismounted a couple times, then rode around. Well, it's more like I sat on her back while she walked around. I just held the reins near the buckle and concentrated on how my body felt, how my legs wrap around her and my spine moves with her body.
Tomorrow we'll actually work a little, I think.
I am so mad about it, too. I remember like 4 or 5 months ago when I had last beaten The Fear - I was really hoping it was gone for good, that I'd just be normally cautious about my velocity and trajectory re: the ground. Maybe you never beat it. Maybe it's always lurking and you've just got to perpetually fight it. That's ok, too, I suppose.
My old coping mechanism was to just ride Champ. Scared of Silky? Poppy? Dixie? Any random horse? Ride Champ. Scared of school, life, relationships? Ride Champ. I felt as safe on him as I ever feel, and just rolling down the trail on him got my body comfortable with the motions of a horse again. He was awesome in a way that no other horse I've met is awesome. I hope he wasn't a once-in-a-lifetime horse, but maybe he was. Sigh.
So there's no Champ, just Dixie, who really is a sweet girl most of the time. I have to deal with The Fear all on my own. At least I know I can do it, which is a strength many people don't have - I know so many people who "rode a horse one time but I fell off and I'm never getting back on one." I am actually a passable rider now. I intellectually know the right things to do, and my body even does them most of the time.
Anyway. Friday I stayed home. I don't ride seven days a week; Friday was my day off. Saturday I went out knowing I needed to get back on Dixie. I even took videos for yall!
First I wanted to free lunge her again so she'd do the lovely floaty trot thing. Of course she didn't cooperate, but this is still cute. Just trust me that earlier this week she was even more extended and more snorty and cantered a lot too. (Also no laughing at my axe-cent!)
Free trotting in the arena from Funder on Vimeo.
So I tacked her up, filled up my pockets with treats, and started free-shaping nice mounting behavior. I cunningly decided to use her natural horsey one-sidedness to my advantage. She gets nervous about people on her near side mounting, so I started over on her off side. I stood by her off side stirrup, patiently following her around as she backed up and sidestepped, til she stopped, then c/t. After she figured out that's what I wanted, I went and stood on a mounting block. She very quickly figured out that I was only going to give treats when she stood lined up to the block. I cannot believe how easy it was, I really can't.
I got on and froze. So I treated her, got off, calmed down, and did it again. And again, and again, til I didn't feel so spooked about it. She was really absolutely stellar.
Then I untacked her and let her roam around the arena again. I was sitting on the mounting block, holding the camera, when she decided to flop down and roll about 5' away!
Dixie rolling in the arena from Funder on Vimeo.
Doesn't she look happy? And GROSS - man, that arena sand stinks!
Andrea, don't ever get a grey or a paint. You'd have a heart attack.
Today I went back, mounted/dismounted a couple times, then rode around. Well, it's more like I sat on her back while she walked around. I just held the reins near the buckle and concentrated on how my body felt, how my legs wrap around her and my spine moves with her body.
Tomorrow we'll actually work a little, I think.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Lovely day
Ok, yes, I hid at home til 3 pm today. But I have been planning for weeks to hide at home! Today was Equine Dentist day, and it gives me the heebiejeebies. I can't even bring myself to go to the human dentist unless I have a toothache. Yall know that I am a hands-on owner, but there is just no way I could watch somebody filing my horse's teeth down!
I got there shortly after the dentist and his (her?) Horror Show of Tools left. Dixie passed with flying colors, actually. No wolf teeth (I didn't think she had any...) and no retained caps or anything. Yay!
I decided I'd take it easy on myself today. I wanted to go over "whips are not evil" on the ground with her, but I didn't have any other goals. Today was sunny and 50s, but tomorrow is going to be rainy, so we headed outside. The grass is green and growing wildly, and the sky was robin's egg blue with picture perfect fluffy clouds in it. We had fun.
We went in the paddock that contains the round pen first. I unsnapped the lead and let her go explore - I don't think she's ever been IN that paddock. She did her snorty floating trot for a couple laps, then came back over to me. I put the lead rope back on her and started poking and thumping her with the dressage whip.
You would think getting whacked all over with a dressage whip was part of our daily grooming ritual. She did not react at all. Well, I take that back - when I poked her between her back legs, she kicked at the whip like it was a fly tickling her. But that was it. No reaction at all. Welp, mission accomplished, I suppose.
I let her loose to run around again. The round pen paddock and the outdoor arena both have sand footing, but there's some grass along the fencelines. Dixie settled down and started grazing, so I went over to the gate to the outdoor. I opened it and looked over - she flagged her tail up and floated over to me. We went through the gate and she did a couple laps around the outdoor, then settled down to graze again.
After she'd trimmed all the grass down, I took her back in. It was really nice, to take a break from pushing myself to Ride Better and Educate The Mare and Don't Freak Out. :) We both still have a long way to go, to get to where we're safe and have fun all the time.. but maybe it doesn't have to happen in April '09.
Dixie's feet look lovely. Not as pretty as Gogo's but she's getting there!
Tomorrow I'm going to work on The Evil Whip Under Saddle. The plan right now is to just touch her all over, climb on, touch her slowly and gently and deliberately all over, then get off, let her decompress, and repeat til we're both laid back about it. Before that, I'll get video of the Floaty Arab Imitation. It's pretty cute, yall will like it!
I got there shortly after the dentist and his (her?) Horror Show of Tools left. Dixie passed with flying colors, actually. No wolf teeth (I didn't think she had any...) and no retained caps or anything. Yay!
I decided I'd take it easy on myself today. I wanted to go over "whips are not evil" on the ground with her, but I didn't have any other goals. Today was sunny and 50s, but tomorrow is going to be rainy, so we headed outside. The grass is green and growing wildly, and the sky was robin's egg blue with picture perfect fluffy clouds in it. We had fun.
We went in the paddock that contains the round pen first. I unsnapped the lead and let her go explore - I don't think she's ever been IN that paddock. She did her snorty floating trot for a couple laps, then came back over to me. I put the lead rope back on her and started poking and thumping her with the dressage whip.
You would think getting whacked all over with a dressage whip was part of our daily grooming ritual. She did not react at all. Well, I take that back - when I poked her between her back legs, she kicked at the whip like it was a fly tickling her. But that was it. No reaction at all. Welp, mission accomplished, I suppose.
I let her loose to run around again. The round pen paddock and the outdoor arena both have sand footing, but there's some grass along the fencelines. Dixie settled down and started grazing, so I went over to the gate to the outdoor. I opened it and looked over - she flagged her tail up and floated over to me. We went through the gate and she did a couple laps around the outdoor, then settled down to graze again.
After she'd trimmed all the grass down, I took her back in. It was really nice, to take a break from pushing myself to Ride Better and Educate The Mare and Don't Freak Out. :) We both still have a long way to go, to get to where we're safe and have fun all the time.. but maybe it doesn't have to happen in April '09.
Dixie's feet look lovely. Not as pretty as Gogo's but she's getting there!
Tomorrow I'm going to work on The Evil Whip Under Saddle. The plan right now is to just touch her all over, climb on, touch her slowly and gently and deliberately all over, then get off, let her decompress, and repeat til we're both laid back about it. Before that, I'll get video of the Floaty Arab Imitation. It's pretty cute, yall will like it!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Dixiesplosion
Thank you again to everybody who replied about Champ. My husband understands, and my parents know how much it hurts to lose an animal you love, but... most of my real life friends aren't in to horses and they don't understand. It's really nice to know I'm not alone.
So I rode this morning. It was pretty good, then pretty bad, which bummed me out a little. I'll persevere, but I'm kind of discouraged.
I did what Andrea suggested and turned Dixie out in the arena. She trotted out to the middle and looked at me like "Now what?" I waved my arms and clucked and got her going - she had a fantastic time running around like a very substantial Arab. Tail flagged, snorting, alternating between a fantastic floaty extended trot and a bouncy little canter. After she got the snorties out of her system, she came back over to me and we went back to tack up.
She was good for me to mount, pretty good starting off, ended up listening pretty well. Whenever she tried to drop her nose to the ground to yank the reins out of my hands, I gave her a little more leg to make her speed up and pick her head up - that worked pretty well. But I kept my hands extra super soft and light, and she wasn't as "worried" about the reins.
Then some other people came in. I am horrible with names (and faces! lucky me!) so I have no clue what their names are and I don't have to make up acronyms. It's a mother who rides or used to ride, and a maybe 10-12 yo daughter who rides better than me, with a pretty hunter horse. He is spazzy. Dixie is also spazzy. They've ridden together before, but then I did something stupid.
Dixie was so very soft and relaxed and I thought maybe I'd try HOLDING the dressage whip. After a lot of patience on my part, she's gotten used to whips on the ground, but she's still freaky about whips under saddle. So I got off, went and got the whip, got back on - she was fine. We started walking again, and my hand wobbled and the tip of the whip touched her flank and she came unglued. We bolted twice around the arena - and as soon as we started, the other horse spooked and bolted too, so it was a positive feedback loop for them. I did my usual "I am going to die" fetal monkey position. Then I had a moment of clarity where I realized a) I was about to fall off and b) I did not want to fall off. So I sat back, which was amazingly hard, and steered her into her favorite corner.
I should really do something about teaching her a one-rein stop or something, now that she's in a snaffle and it's doable.
Anyway, I figure either she'll stop to keep from running into the wall, or she'll hit the wall FIRST and serves her right silly bat of a horse. I really thought we were going to eat wall today but she slammed on the brakes and slid like a reiner to a halt an inch from the wall.
I got off. I was all shaky and tingly and I'm sure she was too. I apologized profusely to the mom and daughter, who seemed cool about it but I wouldn't be surprised if they're mad, but whatever. Snorty big-eyed mustang mare and I walked around and picked up the whip, which I'd deliberately dropped on our first lap, and my hat, which had come flying off (spooking the other horse even more) on our second lap, and stood quietly for a bit.
I decided I should get back on. I got back on. She stood quietly while I got settled (see?! She does learn stuff! She is getting better!). As soon as I touched her with my leg, she tried to bolt off again. I hauled her head around back to the corner we'd just come out of, she stopped with about 3" to spare, and I got back off for the day.
We stopped in the not-so-scary-anymore wash stall, then I groomed her really well again. Halt Near X pointed out that shedding stones are pretty good manure stain removers, too, and you know what? She's right.
So the obvious answer to my conundrum is "Don't even think about riding with a whip for another 6 months." She needs more time. Sometimes she still thinks I turn into a monster when I'm on her back, and her brain just shuts down when she gets scared. That's what scares me - I can deal with her temper tantrums, but I worry that when she gets really scared she loses her sense of self-preservation and really might kill us both.
But here's the rub. (Groan.) My calves are rubbing the hair off her ribs. She's still got plenty of winter coat, so it's just broken hairs, not an open sore. What am I doing wrong? Are my calves moving around that much, or is it the cordura fenders on my saddle, or WHAT? I think it's not my legs ~flopping~ as much as my leg action asking her to walk, turn, etc. But I'm not sure.
I suppose my options are: Try harder to improve my legs. Take the stirrups off and replace them with English leathers or maybe leather western stirrups. Buy a (cheap) English saddle, assuming that the flaps will protect her coat. What should I do?
So I rode this morning. It was pretty good, then pretty bad, which bummed me out a little. I'll persevere, but I'm kind of discouraged.
I did what Andrea suggested and turned Dixie out in the arena. She trotted out to the middle and looked at me like "Now what?" I waved my arms and clucked and got her going - she had a fantastic time running around like a very substantial Arab. Tail flagged, snorting, alternating between a fantastic floaty extended trot and a bouncy little canter. After she got the snorties out of her system, she came back over to me and we went back to tack up.
She was good for me to mount, pretty good starting off, ended up listening pretty well. Whenever she tried to drop her nose to the ground to yank the reins out of my hands, I gave her a little more leg to make her speed up and pick her head up - that worked pretty well. But I kept my hands extra super soft and light, and she wasn't as "worried" about the reins.
Then some other people came in. I am horrible with names (and faces! lucky me!) so I have no clue what their names are and I don't have to make up acronyms. It's a mother who rides or used to ride, and a maybe 10-12 yo daughter who rides better than me, with a pretty hunter horse. He is spazzy. Dixie is also spazzy. They've ridden together before, but then I did something stupid.
Dixie was so very soft and relaxed and I thought maybe I'd try HOLDING the dressage whip. After a lot of patience on my part, she's gotten used to whips on the ground, but she's still freaky about whips under saddle. So I got off, went and got the whip, got back on - she was fine. We started walking again, and my hand wobbled and the tip of the whip touched her flank and she came unglued. We bolted twice around the arena - and as soon as we started, the other horse spooked and bolted too, so it was a positive feedback loop for them. I did my usual "I am going to die" fetal monkey position. Then I had a moment of clarity where I realized a) I was about to fall off and b) I did not want to fall off. So I sat back, which was amazingly hard, and steered her into her favorite corner.
I should really do something about teaching her a one-rein stop or something, now that she's in a snaffle and it's doable.
Anyway, I figure either she'll stop to keep from running into the wall, or she'll hit the wall FIRST and serves her right silly bat of a horse. I really thought we were going to eat wall today but she slammed on the brakes and slid like a reiner to a halt an inch from the wall.
I got off. I was all shaky and tingly and I'm sure she was too. I apologized profusely to the mom and daughter, who seemed cool about it but I wouldn't be surprised if they're mad, but whatever. Snorty big-eyed mustang mare and I walked around and picked up the whip, which I'd deliberately dropped on our first lap, and my hat, which had come flying off (spooking the other horse even more) on our second lap, and stood quietly for a bit.
I decided I should get back on. I got back on. She stood quietly while I got settled (see?! She does learn stuff! She is getting better!). As soon as I touched her with my leg, she tried to bolt off again. I hauled her head around back to the corner we'd just come out of, she stopped with about 3" to spare, and I got back off for the day.
We stopped in the not-so-scary-anymore wash stall, then I groomed her really well again. Halt Near X pointed out that shedding stones are pretty good manure stain removers, too, and you know what? She's right.
So the obvious answer to my conundrum is "Don't even think about riding with a whip for another 6 months." She needs more time. Sometimes she still thinks I turn into a monster when I'm on her back, and her brain just shuts down when she gets scared. That's what scares me - I can deal with her temper tantrums, but I worry that when she gets really scared she loses her sense of self-preservation and really might kill us both.
But here's the rub. (Groan.) My calves are rubbing the hair off her ribs. She's still got plenty of winter coat, so it's just broken hairs, not an open sore. What am I doing wrong? Are my calves moving around that much, or is it the cordura fenders on my saddle, or WHAT? I think it's not my legs ~flopping~ as much as my leg action asking her to walk, turn, etc. But I'm not sure.
I suppose my options are: Try harder to improve my legs. Take the stirrups off and replace them with English leathers or maybe leather western stirrups. Buy a (cheap) English saddle, assuming that the flaps will protect her coat. What should I do?
Quick update
OSU just called. It was most likely cancer, and I definitely made the right decision. His liver was "very abnormal" and there was "only a small amount of normal liver left." The abnormal part (the tumor, I suppose, but we won't know for sure til the path people look at it) was what ruptured and caused the internal bleeding.
My poor Champ. I hope he wasn't miserable for years; he always seemed like a happy laid back horse. I feel ever so slightly better about things.
I rode Dixie today, but I'll write up a post on that later.
My poor Champ. I hope he wasn't miserable for years; he always seemed like a happy laid back horse. I feel ever so slightly better about things.
I rode Dixie today, but I'll write up a post on that later.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
The worst day of my entire life.
Champ is dead.
Yesterday he was off his feed - hadn't finished his hay, which is really unusual. But the weather was wonky so we decided to just watch him. I left right about the time they fed for the night. This morning I got a call that he hadn't eaten his grain or touched his hay overnight, just drank some water. Actually I got several calls, because I am a dumbass and left my phone in the living room overnight. Anyway. The barn owners called the vet and I dashed out about 9 to find a very sick looking horse.
They gave him some banamine, because it looked like a colic. And they put him in the arena to walk around if he wanted, and he'd pooped a little before I got there, so we were hoping it wasn't serious. He looked miserable, kind of shaky. His gums were very pale. He had gut sounds when I first there, but by noon they'd stopped. The vet was at the human doctor and promised to come out as soon as he done, but he didn't get out there til noon.
The vet was my first clue that things were going really horribly. He came out, did a fairly brief examination, tried to palpate, and told me to take him to OSU vet school immediately. He said Champ was somewhat impacted but I think he knew there was something Very Bad happening.
I didn't have the right trailer brake hookup thing on my truck, and the barn owner was in Indiana with her truck, so I called Graham and he came out with the F-150. We hooked up the BO's 2 horse slant, loaded Champ, and headed off. I guess we got to the hospital about 3? It took a while, between the vet exam, calling OSU, calling Graham, etc.
When we walked in the door with Champ a huge swarm of incredibly capable vets and students descended on us. The surgery team started with us, assuming it was colic, but they passed us on to the medical team pretty quickly. I stood at his head petting him and telling him he could bite people as soon as he felt better.
They did blood work, several times. Gave him NG and IV fluids, which perked him up a tiny bit. Shaved all over and did three separate ultrasounds, which is when I started to realize it was Really Very Seriously Bad. He had a lot of internal bleeding, and he had something terribly wrong with his liver. The RBC and WBC counts were extremely low, and his liver enzymes were wrong too - I can't remember if they were high or low. And his liver was not right. The ultrasound of it didn't look to them at all like a liver, so either there was a huge clot obscuring it, there was a huge tumor in its place and it was pushed behind his lungs, or it was really diseased.
We moved him to a stall in ICU while they waited for some tests to come back and thought about what to tell me. He ate three straws of his bedding and one small bite of some gorgeous green alfalfa and just stood there, wobbling.
Finally two of the medical vets came and talked to me. Whatever happened is pretty rare. They'd found a journal article about, umm, 80 or so horses that had presented with similar internal bleeding in about a decade (late 90s to 2004). Only 50% of them had survived to discharge, and there wasn't a great breakdown of the statistics - more than half of the horses in the article had obvious causes for their bleeding, either being kicked, colicking, or uterine artery rupture. The vet said they could try a few things to stabilize him overnight, see if they could stop the bleeding, but they had no idea what was wrong with his liver or really what kind of quality of life he'd have.
They left us alone for a while to decide, and I cried and cried and thought it all through. It wasn't trauma; he hadn't been out with Dixie (or at all) for four or five days, just some light riding. It wasn't poisoning; no other horse had any symptoms from possible bad hay and there's no trees or weeds in his paddock. There was something terribly wrong with him, and from the very quiet murmurs during the repeated ultrasounds and liver biopsies they didn't think it was minor. HIs quality of life is the most important thing, and none of us thought there was a good chance of it improving.
Telling them to put him to sleep was the hardest thing I've ever said in my entire life.
They are going to necropsy him tomorrow; they'll call and tell me what they see. If they don't see anything obvious, they'll do lab work that will take up to a month. They're going to mail me some mane and tail hair and a cast of a hoof. And a bill; I have no clue how much this cost. I don't really care.
Then we had to return the empty trailer. I was going to hide in the truck and cry, but I made myself go in and tell the BO and family what all happened. The BO, like the vets, agreed that I'd done the right thing. And the BO told me that I must come ride tomorrow... and I agree. It would be so easy to walk away, let somebody sell Dixie, not even think about horses again. I'm just fucking flattened. But I felt the same way when I put my old Lab to sleep, and then I ended up with Cersei who is the World's Best Dog Ever. I won't give up on falling in love with creatures I outlive.
Yesterday he was off his feed - hadn't finished his hay, which is really unusual. But the weather was wonky so we decided to just watch him. I left right about the time they fed for the night. This morning I got a call that he hadn't eaten his grain or touched his hay overnight, just drank some water. Actually I got several calls, because I am a dumbass and left my phone in the living room overnight. Anyway. The barn owners called the vet and I dashed out about 9 to find a very sick looking horse.
They gave him some banamine, because it looked like a colic. And they put him in the arena to walk around if he wanted, and he'd pooped a little before I got there, so we were hoping it wasn't serious. He looked miserable, kind of shaky. His gums were very pale. He had gut sounds when I first there, but by noon they'd stopped. The vet was at the human doctor and promised to come out as soon as he done, but he didn't get out there til noon.
The vet was my first clue that things were going really horribly. He came out, did a fairly brief examination, tried to palpate, and told me to take him to OSU vet school immediately. He said Champ was somewhat impacted but I think he knew there was something Very Bad happening.
I didn't have the right trailer brake hookup thing on my truck, and the barn owner was in Indiana with her truck, so I called Graham and he came out with the F-150. We hooked up the BO's 2 horse slant, loaded Champ, and headed off. I guess we got to the hospital about 3? It took a while, between the vet exam, calling OSU, calling Graham, etc.
When we walked in the door with Champ a huge swarm of incredibly capable vets and students descended on us. The surgery team started with us, assuming it was colic, but they passed us on to the medical team pretty quickly. I stood at his head petting him and telling him he could bite people as soon as he felt better.
They did blood work, several times. Gave him NG and IV fluids, which perked him up a tiny bit. Shaved all over and did three separate ultrasounds, which is when I started to realize it was Really Very Seriously Bad. He had a lot of internal bleeding, and he had something terribly wrong with his liver. The RBC and WBC counts were extremely low, and his liver enzymes were wrong too - I can't remember if they were high or low. And his liver was not right. The ultrasound of it didn't look to them at all like a liver, so either there was a huge clot obscuring it, there was a huge tumor in its place and it was pushed behind his lungs, or it was really diseased.
We moved him to a stall in ICU while they waited for some tests to come back and thought about what to tell me. He ate three straws of his bedding and one small bite of some gorgeous green alfalfa and just stood there, wobbling.
Finally two of the medical vets came and talked to me. Whatever happened is pretty rare. They'd found a journal article about, umm, 80 or so horses that had presented with similar internal bleeding in about a decade (late 90s to 2004). Only 50% of them had survived to discharge, and there wasn't a great breakdown of the statistics - more than half of the horses in the article had obvious causes for their bleeding, either being kicked, colicking, or uterine artery rupture. The vet said they could try a few things to stabilize him overnight, see if they could stop the bleeding, but they had no idea what was wrong with his liver or really what kind of quality of life he'd have.
They left us alone for a while to decide, and I cried and cried and thought it all through. It wasn't trauma; he hadn't been out with Dixie (or at all) for four or five days, just some light riding. It wasn't poisoning; no other horse had any symptoms from possible bad hay and there's no trees or weeds in his paddock. There was something terribly wrong with him, and from the very quiet murmurs during the repeated ultrasounds and liver biopsies they didn't think it was minor. HIs quality of life is the most important thing, and none of us thought there was a good chance of it improving.
Telling them to put him to sleep was the hardest thing I've ever said in my entire life.
They are going to necropsy him tomorrow; they'll call and tell me what they see. If they don't see anything obvious, they'll do lab work that will take up to a month. They're going to mail me some mane and tail hair and a cast of a hoof. And a bill; I have no clue how much this cost. I don't really care.
Then we had to return the empty trailer. I was going to hide in the truck and cry, but I made myself go in and tell the BO and family what all happened. The BO, like the vets, agreed that I'd done the right thing. And the BO told me that I must come ride tomorrow... and I agree. It would be so easy to walk away, let somebody sell Dixie, not even think about horses again. I'm just fucking flattened. But I felt the same way when I put my old Lab to sleep, and then I ended up with Cersei who is the World's Best Dog Ever. I won't give up on falling in love with creatures I outlive.
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