Sunday, May 15, 2011


Banders had a very bad day on Wednesday.

It started out normal enough - we all (cats and dog) went outside and fed the outside critters, then came back in while I drank coffee. I needed to take something to MY TRAILER, I don't even remember what. Of course my three helpers came out with me, and I was walking across the driveway when I heard the cats growling. I spun around and I'll be damned if there wasn't a grey toy poodle - wearing a pink jacket! - running up to say hi to my crew.

Cersei was the least of my worries. Jabber poufed up to twice her usual size and hunkered down until she could make a break for it, exactly like you'd think a cat would do. Banders! Flipped out! Literally!

Banders fluffed up, started growling, and began jumping a yard straight up in the air, twisting around to land on the poodle, claws out, screaming this unearthly battle cry the whole time. He'd hit the poodle like a bouncy rubber ball of hate and explode straight back up, screaming and twisting, before plummeting back down on the poodle's head. It was really impressive! And totally ineffective! I'm serious, I don't think the damn poodle ever noticed that the crackninja cat existed, much less was on the attack.

Since Banders was so obviously flipped out, I wanted to get Cersei in the house. If Banders landed on Cersei, or if the stupid poodle noticed that the cat was trying to claw its eyes out, it might precipitate a dog fight, and Labs beat toy poodles like rock beats scissors.

Of course I had no leash (cause it's my yard!) so I had to get Cersei inside by running 5' toward the house, calling her name frantically, getting Cersei, poodle, and attack cat to come to me, then repeating. Jabber had vanished like any sane cat. Eventually I got Cersei in the den and started waving my arms and yelling at the poodle. The idiotic poodle kept bouncing around me with the damn cat orbiting it until eventually the poodle owner (the lady across the street) noticed the poodle was gone and started calling it.

Banders growled at Cersei all day. Poor Cers! She didn't do anything wrong at all for once! That afternoon the cat tampons ZOMBIE FINGERS showed up. I was quite happy to get Banders baked out of his mind. Let's put that day to rest.


  1. Hazel has no tolerance for strange cats or strange dogs and she She will tackle any dog that looks at her askance (we've had to break up honest-to-goodness fights between her and Luna), and strange dogs that look at her askance are pretty much goners. When Storm was visiting he assumed that our cats were like his cats at home, all three of which are friendly and receptive to his attentions. WRONG! The first time he walked up to her she flew at his face like something out of Alien, and she continued to attack him for the rest of the week, resulting in him cowering downstairs most of the time.

    I generally give dogs the onus of responsibility in dog/cat relationships in that I won't intervene. I have no problem with a cat teaching a dog some respect for their claws, but we had to put Hazel in another room sometimes to give poor storm a break. She's about 10 times worse with strange cats.

  2. Wow! A ninja cat - that is so cool. What does Dixie think of cats, by the way? Hope your day settled down. Gonna go see if we can get the horses out today. Snow on the ground ... I don't care. I can do the Michellin man look pretty good.

  3. I guess the appearance of crackninja means it's too big of an emergency for video... bummer :)

    Are cat tampons I mean zombie fingers aka catnip cigars? Lucky Barnett loves those!

  4. Cat tampons are what yall called my zombie fingers before Blogger ate the comments. I thought they looked exactly like crocheted severed fingers til someone said "tampons" and now I think they look exactly like tampons. Gee, thanks!

    Hazel sounds like a terror!

  5. And I thought my cat was bad!! LOL She's an inside cat and an only child so she FREAKS when another cat is anywhere on her property. She hisses and growls and flings herself violently at the door. Then she walks around the house with her most proud kitty prance... Banders might give her a run for her money! TOO FUNNY!

  6. Hysterical! That is, since nobody got hurt.

  7. Ok had me laughing with just the visual of a cat freaking out on a poodle!

  8. O.M.G! I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. I can just see Banders going all crackninja on that poor clueless poodle.

    Didn't get a chance to comment on YOUR TRAILER (love that)...Congrats and it looks really nice.

  9. Um. Your Cat Is Weird.

    Hilarious, but Weird.


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