It started out normal enough - we all (cats and dog) went outside and fed the outside critters, then came back in while I drank coffee. I needed to take something to MY TRAILER, I don't even remember what. Of course my three helpers came out with me, and I was walking across the driveway when I heard the cats growling. I spun around and I'll be damned if there wasn't a grey toy poodle - wearing a pink jacket! - running up to say hi to my crew.
Cersei was the least of my worries. Jabber poufed up to twice her usual size and hunkered down until she could make a break for it, exactly like you'd think a cat would do. Banders! Flipped out! Literally!
Banders fluffed up, started growling, and began jumping a yard straight up in the air, twisting around to land on the poodle, claws out, screaming this unearthly battle cry the whole time. He'd hit the poodle like a bouncy rubber ball of hate and explode straight back up, screaming and twisting, before plummeting back down on the poodle's head. It was really impressive! And totally ineffective! I'm serious, I don't think the damn poodle ever noticed that the crackninja cat existed, much less was on the attack.
Since Banders was so obviously flipped out, I wanted to get Cersei in the house. If Banders landed on Cersei, or if the stupid poodle noticed that the cat was trying to claw its eyes out, it might precipitate a dog fight, and Labs beat toy poodles like rock beats scissors.
Of course I had no leash (cause it's my yard!) so I had to get Cersei inside by running 5' toward the house, calling her name frantically, getting Cersei, poodle, and attack cat to come to me, then repeating. Jabber had vanished like any sane cat. Eventually I got Cersei in the den and started waving my arms and yelling at the poodle. The idiotic poodle kept bouncing around me with the damn cat orbiting it until eventually the poodle owner (the lady across the street) noticed the poodle was gone and started calling it.
Banders growled at Cersei all day. Poor Cers! She didn't do anything wrong at all for once! That afternoon the