Friday, November 7, 2008


So, for complicated yet boring reasons, most of my stuff has been living in my best friend's ministorage unit for almost a year. I go by every couple of months and visit it. Now that I'm somewhat settled into an apartment I like, I'm gonna start getting it out. But after this long, I don't really miss most of it.

Anyway, the damncats* broke my one remaining table lamp the other night. Graham is sure he saw our torchiere lamps in the ministorage when he was here, so I went looking. And I realized that the ministorage is ... kind of bizarre, much like my entire life, so I took pictures to share.

*I am pretty sure the damndog was involved too. They are only adorable little furry friends til they break something, then they're damnpets.

I think Paige will like these pictures. I also think if I met Paige in person the world would end or something. Like a collision of galaxies of strangeness.

These are more crappy phone pictures, so don't bother clicking to make them bigger. Ok, the thing with butterflies is my best friend Stephen's entertainment center. (I don't think he put the butterflies on there; I'm sure it's a handmedown from family.) His mountain bikes are in the bottom left, and in front of them is some kitchen cabinets. Behind the cabinets you can see a piece of art; it's a pretty watercolor my mom painted like 20 years ago. In front of the watercolor is part of an under-sink cabinet Stephen built and installed for a lady, who then sold that condo to her sister, who then had us come back in and rip out the cabinet. You keeping up with all of this so far?
The curvy black corrugated thing is the leafblower. It's sitting on one of my bookcases, which has another bookcase full of boxes balanced on top. Behind the painting and leafblower is one of my pieces of giant antique furniture, the Beige Thing.

Here is another piece of my furniture. This picture also features a cat carrier (not mine, actually), part of a truck bumper, an old fashioned fire extinguisher, and a medicine cabinet.


I could bet yall anything in the world - I could bet you a HORSE - and you'd never guess what this piece of furniture is. It's a loom. It's broken. There's a very long story behind why Stephen has a broken loom in his storage unit. On top of the loom, making a surprise appearance, is two trash bags full of Funder's clothes! Yeehah! I had completely forgotten I even had those clothes. I dragged them home with me.
The loom is upside down on top of an antique dining room table. The empty box collection lives on top of the loom.


Featured in this photo:
A very comfortable chair with footstool. A sink. A trolling motor. The mountain bikes. A antique barber's chair. An exterior door with doorframe.


OOOOH look what I found! It's my scuba equipment - snorkel, wetsuit, flippers, etc. I don't have tanks and a reg yet. There's a box of Stephen's stuff on top, the bag is setting in a box of my stuff, and the entire shebang is balanced on the barber's chair. It's like modern art. Insane modern art.


  1. Yeah that is weird--you have weird shit in your storage unit. Or your friend's storage unit. Looks like our garage--a three car garage with no room for cars.

    Did I know you were a diver too? So many very strange coincidence.

    And just WHAT do you think would happen if we met in real life? Besides you being skeered that is

  2. Never mentioned being a diver before, nope. I learned over the summer of '05, did my certification OW dive in a VERY murky lake in Arkansas, then went to Florida and got in two glorious days diving in Key Largo.

    Then law school started, and my husband gave me some of his bonus money to buy A HORSE ONE HORSE ONLY FUNDER and yall all know how that turned out...

    I predict we would go out to eat, then drink way too much and cab over to a supermarket where we would attempt to do the Monty Python Spam scene. The cops would be called, but we would charm our way out of trouble.

  3. Hey Funder and Strange Paige,
    I finished my master diver certification, did some tech diving, put together a 150 gallon reef tank, got deathly afraid of sharks after one chased me in Belize, and sold everything.

    But I might still have some stuff lying around. Want me to send it to you, Funder? That is, once I unpack it.

    If you guys meet, film it. People would pay good money to see it.

  4. Heck, Daun, i think we should invite ourselves along! :-)
    Or all just meet up in Oahu with Stacey like we discussed before.
    I went snorkelling once, and yes, i know that doesn't count. I'm a really, REALLY weak swimmer. I don't know why. I love swimming--I'm just not very good at it. And i know that water always wins the water v. human struggles. And "Jaws" is like my favorite movie ever. Maybe that has something to do with it . . .

  5. Diving is the most terrifying yet otherworldly thing I've ever done in my life. I am not so much scared of the flora and fauna - although I did see a bigass reef shark and get stung by a coral - as I am terrified of drowning / decompressing myself. It's not really a rational fear, I know, but it definitely makes diving more exciting!

    Anyway, yeah, if you find anything useful I'd love it, Daun!

    Stacey - I am a horrible swimmer too. I can stay afloat forever but I swim about as fast as a Corgi. Doesn't really matter for shallow-water diving off a boat. Let's go to Oahu!

  6. My ex was a diver and I did a lot around BC with him. Followed by an ugly breakup such that diving just reminds me of him and it sucks now. Haven't been in at least 8 years, I guess. Not since just after meeting David.

    We call them fuckingpets around her, but I am foul mouthed at the best of times. Storage unit looks crazy. David would be very happy in there.


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