Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Enormous Horse Mishap Meme

Via Glenshee!

1. How old were you when you first started riding? 28. I rode a pony about three times when I was a kid, and the horse-crazy never left me, but I never had the chance to ride or own one until then. Being a late bloomer is my excuse for many of my horsey failings. :)

2. First horse ridden: Big Mama, a grade QH.

3. First horse trotted on: Big Mama. It was not a pretty sight - it was the middle of summer, and I was wearing one of those spaghetti strap tank tops with the not-very-supportive shelf bras. Every man who witnessed my ride that day ended up mentioning it to me later. "Heeeey, I remember you - you were riding Big Mama in that tank top last summer, weren't you?"

4. First horse cantered on: Caramia, an insane Arab. In a round pen. I was not at all ready to canter in a tiny round pen, and to this day I still hate riding in round pens.

5. First horse fallen off of: Champ. I asked him to step over a tiny little rivulet of water on a trail. He leapt it, from a standstill, straight into a scrubby tree. I realized the branch was way too low, grabbed it, and slid backwards off his butt. Landed on my feet, even. Let go of the reins - just the first of my many inexplicable rein releases.

6. Most recent horse fallen off of: Poppy, September '08. He calmly and unstoppably sidepassed into a tree. I realized the branch was way too low, grabbed it, and slid backwards off his butt. Landed on my feet. Let go of the reins. Do you see a pattern?

7. Most terrifying fall: Nothing terrifying yet, luckily! I am always surprised that I'm about to end up on the ground. And once I hit the ground, I'm always surprised that I've dropped the reins.

8. First horse jumped with: Champ. Streams and logs on the trails. I will say that the first fall wasn't my first jump!

9. First horse who ran away with you: Champ. I never really understood that saying, "he grabbed the bit in his teeth," til I let Champ really gallop. I screamed, half in delight and half in terror, until we ran out of field and he decided to stop.

10. First horse that scared the crap out of you: Chocolate Chip. Completely psychotic QH stud. He bit me twice, with no warning, before I learned to never touch him no matter what, and he kicked me and Poppy and almost broke my knee. Again, no warning.

11. First horse shown: Kat (Pride of Katmandu, IIRC), a very fat flatshod TWH show horse. We got 3d, so I can only assume the judge wasn't looking the three separate times she grabbed the bit in her teeth and cantered. Local shows in Memphis are such a joke.

12. First horse to win a class with: Never have, probably never will!

13. Do you/have you taken lessons: Took dressage lessons for about six months, til I moved. I'll probably take them again, when I buy a trailer and find a good instructor.

14. First horse you ever rode bareback: Big Mama. She had the perfect build for bareback.

15. First horse trail ridden with: Caramia.

17. Do you ride English or western?: Both.

18. First horse to place at a show with: Kat.

19. Ever been to horse camp?: A what? No.

20. Ever been to a riding clinic?: Nope.

21. Ridden sidesaddle?: Nope, no interest.

22. First horse leased: I don't think I could lease a horse. I wouldn't enjoy it very much if I didn't have an emotional connection to the horse, and I do not get attached to horses I don't own. That's the road to heartbreak right there.

23. Last horse leased: n/a

24. Highest ribbon in a show: Third.

25. Ever been to an 'A' rated show?: I watched the '08 Germantown Charity Horse Show. I'm glad I went, but it only solidified my extreme dislike of show Walkers and Saddlebreds.

26. Ever competed in pony games/relay races?: Nope.

27. Ever fallen off at a show: Nope, but I've only ridden in two. Or three, can't remember.

28. Do you ride Hunter/Jumpers?: Nope.

29. Have you ever barrel raced? A few times I've cantered the pattern, with Champ, for fun.

30. Ever done pole bending?: See above.

31. Favorite gait: A really fast rack!

32. Ever cantered bareback?: Hell, no, I haven't even trotted bareback. I probably will one day, though...

33. Have you ever done dressage?: I've often done horrible things to the ideal of dressage. One day I hope to do justice to dressage.

34. Have you ever evented?: I would love to one day do Beginner Novice on Dixie.

35. Have you ever mucked a stall?: Yep. It's overrated. Dealing with dirty scruffy field horses is way better than cleaning stalls.

36. Ever been bucked off?: Well, kind of. I put a different saddle that didn't quite fit on Kat, the fat mare, and didn't actually cinch it down corset-tight. Then we rode around the arena. Then the saddle sloooowly and inexorably slid to the right, she spooked and took off, I kicked out of the stirrups and rolled off, and she started doing her bucking bronco imitation with the saddle under her belly. Sorry about that, Kat.

37. Ever been on a horse that reared?: Oh yeah. Many of the TWHs I've seen and rode are light in the front. Champ will still rear sometimes if he doesn't want to cross water, or if he wants to bolt and I won't let him. Lean forward, stay prepared to bail, and wait for the silly horse to put his feet back on the ground.

38. Horses or ponies?: Ponies in my experience are devilish evil fat things.

39. Do you wear a helmet?: Sometimes. I never claimed to have good sense.

40. What's the highest you've jumped: Probably 2' of clearance over a 6" log or an 18" stream.

41. Have you ever ridden at night?: Every chance I get in the summer. Love it.

42. Do you watch horsey television shows?: Nah. We have cable, not satellite.

43. Have you ever been seriously hurt/injured from a fall?: Knock on wood, no.

44. Most falls in one lesson: Never fell off in a lesson!

45. Do you ride in an arena/ring?: Sometimes, when I have to.

46. Have you ever been trampled by a horse?: Nope.

47. Have you ever been bitten?: Yup.

48. Ever had your foot stepped on by a horse?: Yep. Who hasn't, really?

49: Favorite riding moment: I can't possibly choose.

50. Most fun horse you've ridden: Dixie. Or maybe Champ. They both make me feel like I'm the Queen of the World.


  1. i love your mishaps! sad to say, i can relate to many of them ;-) especially the one about being removed from the horse by a tree :-\ or the one where you're lacking the, ahem, proper supportive undergarments... i learned THAT lesson the hard way (almost gave myself 2 black eyes ;-)

    but if you think you're bad about letting go of the reins, i had a friend (who used to show in the jumpers, mind you) who used to throw the reins on her horse's neck in front of every jump and grab fistfuls of mane with both hands!

    you've got to love any horse named 'big mama.' and, i'm jealous - i've never ridden a rack, and don't imagine i ever will...

    thanks for playing!

  2. LOL Funder- you made this great!! I may have to try and sit down long enough to do one for my blog...hehehehe

    Sounds like things are settling in quite well for you in the new place. Glad to hear it girl! I *hate* moving- done it too freaking many times over the years, so hearing someone have a smooooth transition gives me hope ;)

    Take care of that blister!

    OH---- LMAO... you made me spit coffee thru my nose at your reply on my blog... HA~ that was GREAT!!

  3. Haha, glad yall liked it. :) I joke, half-seriously, with my female friends that we ride gaited horses to save ourselves from serious self-inflicted injury.

    MOM Mrs, glad you liked my unfraudster letter. I've dealt with MORE than my fair share of those truly horrible people! ;)

  4. You are so good. I keep seeing this pop up on horse blogs but I can't bring myself to think that much. Maybe this weekend.

    I think it's awesome that you didn't start riding until you were in your 20s. I'm not sure that I would have the balls at this stage if I hadn't done it as a kid.

    kieaff: much like a piaffe, but with somewhat less elevation (4 letters less, to be exact)

  5. Great answers. Thanks for playing along. I can relate to lots of your answers too.

  6. I'm kinda dumb like that, dp - I just decide to do something and then DO it. I mean, I do my research and I try to do it right, but I don't have real good sense. ;)

    Loved the lolcats! I don't read it every day, so thanks for the link.


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