Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Betrayed again!

The shit-ass NeverKink hose has done me wrong again. I hate it SO much more now. You only thought I hated it before - now I detest it with every fiber of my soaking wet being.

I'm still sick (achoo!) so I've been putting off refilling the 100 gallon tank, but this morning I had to. I think something dire happens if the de-icer sticks up out of the surface of the water, and there was only an inch of water over it, so even though it was 10 degrees I had to refill. I unplugged the de-icer, bailed the tank, dumped the tank, and hooked up the hose.

Ok, the hose wasn't in the house. But I've been religiously draining the hose as I coil it into its bucket, and it's been just fine. I coil it starting at the spigot end, so the black Goodyear hose is on the bottom and the 15' piece of shit-ass hose is on top - which should mean the shit-ass hose has extra time to drain, right? WRONG.

I turned on the water and a geyser burst forth from the connection. There's no little rubber O-ring in the connection, cause I can't find them (and never think to look except while I'm filling the trough). The black hose was fine and the neverkink hose had a little iceberg in it. I spent 5 minutes flexing the whole length of the shit-ass hose, getting sprayed all over my face, gloves, coveralls, etc. before I gave up and unhooked the horrible hose. Then I had to spray out the tank from 5' away, then stand the tank back up (and rearrange the de-icer cord) and stand for 10 freakin minutes pointing the water into the tank.

Did you know (Alaska people, of course yall know this!) that when it's 10, the fog coming off of a stream of water actually crystalizes in midair? It was really pretty, watching the fog billow off the water and turn into little rainbow fairy crystals and drift toward the ground. That was about the only good thing I got out of the whole experience. That, and I suppose the deep ongoing moral satisfaction of taking care of your own horse in all seasons. There is deep moral satisfaction there, right? I'm so cold I can't feel my morals.

Oh, and I got two still-warm eggs. The hens were doing the "OMG something came out of my BUTT" squawks, so I stopped by the henhouse as I sogged back inside. Two warm eggs! I'm sure G will be all squicked out reading that - more for me! ;)


  1. The "OMG, something came out of my butt" song. Love it.

  2. Good line that!.....I sympathise Funder, I got the full FLU! Not the Manflu, but the real deal! I am writing this, feeling alternatively hot and cold, and feel totally fed up! All runny nose and aches etc.
    Well done you for that effort.

  3. And I sit here incredibly thankful that I haven't seen 10 degrees during the day yet this year. Nighttime is another story...

    At least you got those eggs before they froze! We've had a few freeze solid and crack when the silly hens lay them over night and not bother to keep 'em warm.

  4. You know, they've got [expensive] heated hoses these days (someone was talking them up on another blog, but I don't remember where...old age? or mind-numbing cold? or BOTH!)
    The other trick I used to use (before the advent of my frost free hydrants) was to coil the hose up IN the water trough. You have to tie a piece of baling twine to it to pull it out with, and your gloves will get a little wet retreiving it, but it keeps the hose thawed! Coil it slowly, so as not to let the water out (air bubbles in the hose will bring it to the surface for inquiring noses to play with). But it works!

  5. I'm glad I'm not the only one who despises hoses that kink...makes me crazy! The only thing worse than a kinky hose, is a frozen solid one, and the only thing worse than that is having both at the same time...ugh

    This is my favorite hose EVER! Ihttp://www.sears.com/shc/s/p_10153_12605_07169605000P?prdNo=1&blockNo=1&blockType=G1 t's a rubber hose, that kinks minimally, and hold up REALLY well! LOVE these guys, it's what we use up at the barn...

  6. Just in case you want to feel "better" about your lower than dirt hose....Doug and I carry water ALL WINTER in 5 gallon buckets. House to barn...house to barn....house to barn. Yes, I have my own lower than dirt hose, it is kinked, it is frozen, AND I RAN OVER IT WITH THE MOWER THE LAST TIME I CUT THE GRASS this year. So when looking at the pretty ice crystals as you freeze off your morals, remember...there is a worse way :) ~E.G.

  7. We've been lucky thus far: our cold snaps have been shorter enough that I can fill up the water tanks when everything is above 35 degrees, and then just leave the hoses un-used while the weather is too cold.

    Cross fingers that our luck holds: otherwise, I'm doomed to carry buckets from the house!

  8. I hate hoses of all kinds... no matter how hard I try I always manage to soak myself. At least I don't have to deal with frozen hoses anymore, though. I'm very thankful for that!

  9. We get really cold temps here, so last year we splurged on an electric hose, and we loved it. We got it out of storage this winter, and it's dead!!! It only lasted one season, and it was expensive. We won't replace it.

  10. I hate that hose too !

    I'm laughing at the "OMG, something came out of my butt" statement.. hahahahaha!

    Feel better soon!

  11. Thanks for putting my woes in perspective, guys! AKPG hasn't even showed up to talk about how her hoses spew ice cubes. ;)

    I think I'm on the mend. I've started coughing, which is usually the final stage of a cold. Well, next to my nose peeling, which is the horrible part nobody wants to talk about.

    I do think the chickens are surprised every single time they lay an egg.

  12. Been there, had to deal with that...No fun!

    After being a total ditz the last few mornings, I finally remembered to put my hose in the garage. Nothing like having to thaw it out in the bathtub a couple of times (and then cleaning up the mess afterward) to help me to remember to take the time to actually carry the hose back to the garage when I'm done with it-LOL

  13. Funder I had a similar experience today. Except for the frozen part and the 10 degrees part. It was 55and sunny so snothing was frozen. Anyway most of my hoses are just 10foot horses b/c the hydrants are by the troughs. I go to turn on the water and get sprayed right in the face from a hole in the hose that was the result of a bad kink. You would think when you are only dealing with 10' of hose you could avoid this. GRRRR.

  14. Wow, I remember the mist freezing mid air from having to fill the water tank from a distance, when it was 10 degrees. Thanks for the memory.

    I did not love Nevada winters. Dang heater was always freezing, and we'd come out to a 100 gallon tank with ice more than a foot thick. A lot of buckets from the house.

    Oh, and morals do freeze solid in those temps. I'll send some nice warm mud your way.

  15. You have it easy - water within hose distance of your tanks. On my blog last year I described how I have to water the horses. It involves a 250 gallon water tank, a skid steer, warm clothes and at least an hour. Recently though the temps have been in the 40s above freezing so I just bucket water from the house to the pens like Granny does.

    What is really cool is soap bubbles at 50 degrees below zero.

    My chickens are in a forced molt. The light bulb blew out and I haven't replaced it yet. After falling on the ice Monday I have been conning everyone into doing my barn chores for me.


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